Selfies by Josh

I really like the way i look

7 notes

Got into it yesterday with my friend Steve. He says if he won the lottery he’d sell all his worldly possessions and roam the earth doing good deeds. I told him he’d be too lazy to move out of his parents’ basement. It’s probably a moot point, though. No way Steve could afford a lottery ticket after that freak weed whacker incident left him buried him in medical bills.

When I look this good I almost have to look away.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #argument #lottery #gooddeeds #roam #earth #parentsbasement #freakweedwhackerincident #medicalbills #lookinggood #lookaway

Got into it yesterday with my friend Steve. He says if he won the lottery he’d sell all his worldly possessions and roam the earth doing good deeds. I told him he’d be too lazy to move out of his parents’ basement. It’s probably a moot point, though. No way Steve could afford a lottery ticket after that freak weed whacker incident left him buried him in medical bills.

When I look this good I almost have to look away.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #argument #lottery #gooddeeds #roam #earth #parentsbasement #freakweedwhackerincident #medicalbills #lookinggood #lookaway

Filed under lottery parentsbasement gooddeeds selfie lookaway argument freakweedwhackerincident selfies selfiesbyjosh lookinggood roam earth medicalbills

6 notes

Decided to check out the Minnesota Alpaca Expo today down in Owatonna. I ended up in a staring contest with a young, black alpaca named Bjorn. We locked eyes for a good two minutes before I realized Bjorn had an enormous, furry erection. Normally I’d have been flattered but I looked away because I’m pretty sure Bjorn was underage.

If beauty were divinity I’d be God.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #minnesota #alpacaexpo #young #black #staringcontest #furryerection #flattery #underage #beauty #divinity #god

Decided to check out the Minnesota Alpaca Expo today down in Owatonna. I ended up in a staring contest with a young, black alpaca named Bjorn. We locked eyes for a good two minutes before I realized Bjorn had an enormous, furry erection. Normally I’d have been flattered but I looked away because I’m pretty sure Bjorn was underage.

If beauty were divinity I’d be God.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #minnesota #alpacaexpo #young #black #staringcontest #furryerection #flattery #underage #beauty #divinity #god

Filed under furryerection divinity beauty staringcontest god selfie underage alpacaexpo minnesota young selfies selfiesbyjosh black flattery

2 notes

Kurt Cobain once said that it’s better to burn out than to fade away. That’s ridiculous. Every person I know—my uncle, my ex, my elderly neighbor Bruce Vogel—their whole life is one long, gradual fade into nothingness. The way I see it, they must have something figured out.

Found a five dollar bill in my driveway this morning. Best day ever.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #burnbright #fadeaway #suicidenote #cobain #young #nothingness #life #foundmoney #greatday

Kurt Cobain once said that it’s better to burn out than to fade away. That’s ridiculous. Every person I know—my uncle, my ex, my elderly neighbor Bruce Vogel—their whole life is one long, gradual fade into nothingness. The way I see it, they must have something figured out.

Found a five dollar bill in my driveway this morning. Best day ever.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #burnbright #fadeaway #suicidenote #cobain #young #nothingness #life #foundmoney #greatday

Filed under life suicidenote cobain greatday selfie young nothingness selfies selfiesbyjosh fadeaway burnbright foundmoney

6 notes

When I was a kid, my hero was Minnesota Twins star Kirby Puckett. How can I ever forget the sheer joy and childhood wonderment I felt when he hit that home run in the World Series? He died eight years ago yesterday. Crazy to think that I burn so bright right now, but someday I’m going to die.

Hard for me to even leave my house these days without getting noticed.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #hero #childhood #kirby #death #burningbright #celebrity

When I was a kid, my hero was Minnesota Twins star Kirby Puckett. How can I ever forget the sheer joy and childhood wonderment I felt when he hit that home run in the World Series? He died eight years ago yesterday. Crazy to think that I burn so bright right now, but someday I’m going to die.

Hard for me to even leave my house these days without getting noticed.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #hero #childhood #kirby #death #burningbright #celebrity

Filed under burningbright death hero kirby selfie selfies selfiesbyjosh celebrity childhood

3 notes

Went to a showing of Peter Pan last night over at Long Prairie High School. Maybe I’m missing something, but I just don’t get it. It’s just a bunch of awkward teenagers with fake hooks and swords flying around in tights.

I see Never Never Land every time I look in the mirror.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #peterpan #awkwardteenagers #fakeswords #neverneverland #mirror

Went to a showing of Peter Pan last night over at Long Prairie High School. Maybe I’m missing something, but I just don’t get it. It’s just a bunch of awkward teenagers with fake hooks and swords flying around in tights.

I see Never Never Land every time I look in the mirror.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #peterpan #awkwardteenagers #fakeswords #neverneverland #mirror

Filed under awkwardteenagers selfie selfies selfiesbyjosh fakeswords mirror peterpan neverneverland

4 notes

Asked this girl out on Friday. She said she’s headed to the Luke Bryan concert. I asked her out on Saturday, but she said she has to work. When I asked about Sunday and Monday, she just repeated, “Sorry, I have plans.” Tonight I’m probably gonna ask about Tuesday, but I want to play hard to get for a little bit, make her sweat.

My eyes are like two blue fawns, twins of a gazelle.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #dating #lukebryan #work #excuses #persistence #playinghardtoget #beautifuleyes #twinfawns

Asked this girl out on Friday. She said she’s headed to the Luke Bryan concert. I asked her out on Saturday, but she said she has to work. When I asked about Sunday and Monday, she just repeated, “Sorry, I have plans.” Tonight I’m probably gonna ask about Tuesday, but I want to play hard to get for a little bit, make her sweat.

My eyes are like two blue fawns, twins of a gazelle.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #dating #lukebryan #work #excuses #persistence #playinghardtoget #beautifuleyes #twinfawns

Filed under twinfawns lukebryan excuses selfie work selfies selfiesbyjosh playinghardtoget beautifuleyes dating persistence

3 notes

I had this crazy dream last night where I drank 25 wine coolers in a row. I never got drunk, though. Instead, with each bottle I drank, I saw the world with ever greater clarity. Until I could see everything.

I have a feeling today I’m going to meet my soul mate.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #dreams #winecoolers #notdrunk #world #clarity #seeall #feelings #soulmate

I had this crazy dream last night where I drank 25 wine coolers in a row. I never got drunk, though. Instead, with each bottle I drank, I saw the world with ever greater clarity. Until I could see everything.

I have a feeling today I’m going to meet my soul mate.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #dreams #winecoolers #notdrunk #world #clarity #seeall #feelings #soulmate

Filed under seeall feelings selfie notdrunk winecoolers selfies selfiesbyjosh world soulmate clarity dreams

1 note

Checked out a high school hockey game last night up in Thief River Falls. Halfway through the third period, two dads from opposing teams got into a crazy fistfight. I figured it was over whose son got a bigger hockey scholarship, but it turns out they were both drunk and arguing over the last nachos at the concession stand.

If it were possible to have negative body fat I would.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #prowlers #hockey #fistfight #drunk #nachos #nobodyfat

Checked out a high school hockey game last night up in Thief River Falls. Halfway through the third period, two dads from opposing teams got into a crazy fistfight. I figured it was over whose son got a bigger hockey scholarship, but it turns out they were both drunk and arguing over the last nachos at the concession stand.

If it were possible to have negative body fat I would.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #prowlers #hockey #fistfight #drunk #nachos #nobodyfat

Filed under drunk selfie selfies selfiesbyjosh prowlers hockey fistfight nachos nobodyfat

3 notes

On the fence about whether I should buy a dishwasher or a dog. I don’t really mind doing the dishes, but I’ve been afraid of dogs ever since my cousin Barney got bit by a rabid labradoodle at summer camp and died back in ‘97. Maybe it’s not such a tough choice.

My good looks come in HD.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #choices #dishwasher #dog #deadcousin #rabidlabradoodle #summercamp #childhoodmemories #goodlooks #highdef

On the fence about whether I should buy a dishwasher or a dog. I don’t really mind doing the dishes, but I’ve been afraid of dogs ever since my cousin Barney got bit by a rabid labradoodle at summer camp and died back in ‘97. Maybe it’s not such a tough choice.

My good looks come in HD.

#selfie #selfies #selfiesbyjosh #choices #dishwasher #dog #deadcousin #rabidlabradoodle #summercamp #childhoodmemories #goodlooks #highdef

Filed under dishwasher highdef selfie deadcousin childhoodmemories dog choices selfies selfiesbyjosh rabidlabradoodle summercamp goodlooks